A few months ago, I sat in a workshop and listened as they shared some of the following statistics:
- 50% of missionaries return unexpectedly
- 40% of returnees do not feel settled after five years
- 70% report a loss of purpose
- 50% rate their emotional adjustment between 1–4 on a 10-point scale
- 50% feel unstable in their career and financial future
- 65% say family adjustment is the hardest part
- 70% thought they would live overseas indefinitely
- 75% said their sending church or organization was not helpful
Beyond statistics, you can read many sobering stories in Neal Pirolo’s book The Reentry Team, which describes both the challenges of reentry and, at times, the failure of the church to respond well. Many missionaries describe the first year of reentry as the most difficult part of the missionary lifecycle, even more challenging than initial culture shock.
This is a critical season. It is a time when the support team and sending church must rally together around missionaries and their children as they reenter. So, “What’s the big deal about coming home?” you might ask. This post is not meant to fully unpack this, but below are 5 key factors for you to consider that shape someone’s reentry experience.
1. Culture
One of the biggest impacts of reentry is culture. When missionaries first arrive on the field, they experience culture shock. This can be intense, especially for Americans who are accustomed to comfort, ease of life, and predictability. Language, food, schedules, environment, social norms, and skin color can challenge a person emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
The longer someone lives in another culture, the more familiar they are, and the more it becomes a part of them. When they return home, this process happens in reverse, where they no longer feel at home or normal in their passport state. This is often called reverse culture shock. This usually surprises missionaries and is often misunderstood by family, friends, and churches.
Why would someone feel lonely “at home”?
Why do they seem so different?
Why does a once familiar life now feel foreign?
You cannot live cross-culturally for an extended period and not be changed by it. Missionaries often return with new perspectives, convictions, and passions. Children face their own struggles as friends have moved on or they don’t “fit in any longer”. Reverse culture shock is one of the most misunderstood aspects of reentry, It is hard for home folks to understand or have compassion for this as they most likely have never lived cross-culturally. We also live daily in our culture so it is easy to adapt slowly as change happens. Interestingly, Reverse culture shock is a place where the local church can have a significant impact in helping their missionaries reenter.
2. Time
Reentry can be painful, whether someone has been gone for two weeks or twenty-plus years. While the intensity may differ, even short-term experiences can deeply affect a person. Exposure to poverty, suffering, injustice, or trauma can make coming home especially difficult. The longer someone has lived that life, the more challenging the return tends to be. Things like long-standing relationships, depth of integration into culture, as well as the more time goes by, the more change happens at home, are a few examples of how the length of time can significantly impact the challenge of reentry.
3. Community
Community plays a significant role in reentry. The deeper the relationships formed overseas, with the local community or mission team, the harder it is to leave them behind. Missionary life includes many goodbyes, and they do not generally become easier over time. This is the same with children; the deeper the relationships, the harder to separate.
At the same time, the community is part of the solution. Strong relationships with the stateside support team and church can significantly reduce the pain of reentry when those relationships are present, intentional, and engaged.
4. Reason for Return
There are several types of reentry: short-term returns (home assignments, sabbaticals) and indefinite returns (completed assignments, evacuations). Within both categories are planned and unplanned returns. Unplanned and indefinite returns are often the most painful. They may involve broken relationships, lost dreams, confusion, or deep grief. For some, reentry feels like the death of a loved one. For others, it is the loss of purpose that can affect their lives. Disillusionment from these returns can be very painful as missionaries and supporters begin to ask questions like, Was it worth it? Were our years of pouring out our lives wasted? What do we do now? This is a space for supporters to seek to understand what the missionary is going through and to walk with them through the grief and uncertainty.
5. Family Status
Reentry looks different for singles, married couples, and families with children. In a family system, reentry affects each relationship differently: parents with each other, parents toward children, children toward parents, and siblings with one another. The more relationships involved, the more complex reentry can be. The four factors above impact each person differently, and when you combine them together into a family system, you have a potentially complicated situation.
For single missionaries, the challenge is often invisibility. It can be easy to forget or unintentionally overlook them when they come back, which directly contributes to a painful reentry experience.
Why This Matters
This is only a brief overview of some of the things that can shape the affects of reentry, and there are many stories and missionaries who describe reentry painfully: I’m Lonely, No one understands, I don’t feel at home anymore, I don’t know what to do. The message is clear: missionaries who are returning, or preparing to return, need our help. The church and support team can make a tremendous difference.
At All-Nations, we encourage every missionary to have a dedicated support team that is actively working to care for them. In The Reentry Team, Neal Pirolo identifies nine areas of stress for returning missionaries:
- Physical
- Professional
- Financial
- Cultural
- Social
- Linguistic
- National/political
- Educational
- Spiritual
Support teams using the five factors discussed should talk through each of these nine areas with their missionary to identify needs and guide the church in providing care. This may involve logistics, housing, employment, transportation, or simply consistent presence and listening. Ongoing meetings allow teams to notice struggles early and respond wisely.
The Role of the Church
As the support team works closely with the missionary, they help the church understand how to engage. Prayer is the most important thing the church can offer, both while missionaries are on the field and after they return.
Debriefing is also essential. Missionaries need time and space to tell their stories in meaningful ways—in churches, schools, small groups, and other appropriate settings. This is not something that fits into a fifteen-minute update. It takes time, patience, and good questions.
Practical care matters too. Workdays, meals, helping furnish a home, or simple presence all communicate care. The more connected the church and support team are, the more opportunities will emerge to serve well and help missionaries feel known and valued.
A Final Word on Debriefing
One of the most important helps during reentry is intentional debriefing. In more complex situations, it may be wise to involve someone trained and experienced in this work.
For most missionaries, debriefing should begin with their support team, and this then continues as they share their journey with others. This process of sharing and having interested people ask good questions helps a missionary process their experiences in a circle of care.
If you are a missionary who has returned or is preparing to return, or if you know someone who is, feel free to reach out to [email protected]. We would be glad to provide resources and walk with your support team through this important season.
– Mason Gordon